Stop Asking, Start Doing: What I Learned About Care After Losing My Mom

When my mom passed away, my phone rang nonstop.
Everyone wanted to know: “Do you need anything? Should I bring food? Can I help with errands?”

And while I deeply appreciated the intention, here’s the thing—when you’re grieving, you don’t have the clarity or energy to delegate your own care. Asking “what do you need?” puts the burden back on the person who’s already drowning.

What mattered most in those days weren’t the questions—it was the actions.
The friend who just showed up with soup.
The neighbor who left flowers at the door.
The cousin who sent groceries without asking if I had fridge space.

Care lands best when it doesn’t require permission.

The Lesson: Love Is Action, Not a Question

We live in a culture of “LMK if you need anything.” But the truth is, most people never “let you know.” Not because they don’t need help—but because asking feels like an extra weight.

Real care isn’t about offering—it’s about acting. It’s taking the thought “maybe they could use this” and turning it into a gesture that eases the load, even just a little.

That’s what makes people feel seen and supported.

From Personal Grief to a Business Built on Action

This is exactly why I started Actually Something™.
I wanted to create a way for people to care for each other that doesn’t stop at the empty promise of “Let me know.”

Each of our care packages is built around that principle: don’t just ask—do.
Whether it’s period pain, heartbreak, or just the heavy days when someone needs to feel held, Actually Something™ delivers thoughtful, tangible support straight to their door.

A Call to Action: Be the Friend Who Acts

The next time you want to care for someone, don’t just send the text. Send the gesture.
Send the thing they don’t even have words to ask for.

And if you’re not sure where to start—let us help.
Explore our curated care boxes and be the person who does actually something.

👉 Shop Actually Something™ care packages